Sunday, June 12, 2011

Alignment System Courtesy of Josh and I

Josh, who has played in 95% of everything I've run in the last six years, and who is currently playing in both Pathfinder and Stars Without Number while also running Deadlands, has the same opinion as I do on the subject of alignment: it sucks and adds nothing to the game.

Being that we are tinkers at heart, we have created our own alignments system, for use with any roleplaying game, and I humbly submit it for your perusal:

The Alignment System: Player characters must choose an alignment. Their choices are as follows:

Extra Spicy
Cheddar Bacon Ranch

Each alignment is self-explanatory, and just a glance at the name alone completely defines how a character should act. Any alignment infringement results in immediate conversion to Libertarian, because the goddamn government isn't going to tell you how you can act!

For those of you who are too base and neolithic to comprehend our alignment system, I shall provide a simple behavior guide to each alignment:

-Spicy: If there are any girls there, you want to do them.
-Extra Spicy: If there are any girls or guys there, you want to do them.
-Cheddar Bacon Ranch: God dammit, now I'm hungry.
-Zesty: What Would Ricardo Montalban Do?
-Libertarian: Nobody can make you do anything, especially the government. Once per session, you must express your disapproval of something based on the Founding Fathers being opposed to it.
-Luddite: Technology BAD.
-Neo Luddite: Technology isn't bad, per se, it's just annoying, and WILL YOU PUT YOUR GODDAMN PHONE AWAY WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU?!
-Murder: You kill other things, usually on sight. You may or may not take their stuff.
-Communist: The treasure belongs to the Party.


  1. Can I mix these? Same I'm the dashing leader of a group of Pan-American guerrilla fighters. Can I be Zesty Communist?

  2. I shall not be so disrespected, sir! Some of us libertarians express disapproval of things based on Proudhon being opposed to them!

  3. Drew- As much as I like your idea, adding a two-axis alignment would put me right back where I started when I decided this new alignment system was necessary in the first place. I'm afraid you will have to decide if you are more Zesty than Commie or vice versa.

    Joshua- Alternate versions of Libertarianism will have to wait until my Advanced Alignment Guide comes out.