It's clear as day.
I want to run a campaign.
That is what I want to do.
The desire to be a player is secondary at best.
This is not commentary on any game I am presently involved in. This is a building, nagging thing that stems from the very essence of what I get out of gaming; what I always have gotten out of gaming.
I am presently watching a play by chat game of the Savage Worlds Solomon Kane setting. Although I have been invited to participate, I can already tell that I really have no interest. This, to me, is not gaming. It is an approximation of gaming, but it isn't the real thing, any more than is the text-based MUD I have running in another window.
I guess I should amend that to say that it isn't gaming to me. I know some of you out there in Blogland have had great success with it. Hell, the game I was watching is on session #52. I was not at all drawn in by the setup.
I have received some encouraging feedback from Nathan on my Palladium/AD&D conversion. I will continue work on it tomorrow... perhaps nail down the races.
My new goal is to start a new campaign of something before summer break starts.