I look it up and I find blog posts from two or three years ago, unfinished conversions, and philosophical digressions that quickly leave the arena of the practical.
I look it up on Youtube and I find a three hour tutorial video.
I go to the used bookstore and find a castoff copy of the book and a bunch of little setting supplements from it.
All the signs and portents are telling me to walk away from this game, that it is written in a language I will never understand.
The skills, I get. They're like Fudge. (They are Fudge, straight up)
The aspects, I mostly get. I'm no good with how many Fate points are supposed to be given out or how that flows at all. I struggle with Bennies in Savage Worlds for just that reason.
Stunts, I find I have trouble creating.
Extras I just have no fucking idea how to make that look right to me. We created extras as a group and I found myself deeply unsatisfied with them and totally unable to explain the reason for this dissatisfaction.
I have no idea how to do a magic system, even after reading several examples.
I'm shaky on how conflict works.
It mostly adds up when I examine the individual parts, but when I try to see it as a whole, or when I actually try to do anything with it, I find that it stands as thin as air for me. It feels inorganic, it feels insubstantial. For what it does for me, we might as well be just talking to each other and settling the conflicts with rock, paper, scissors or a coin toss.
I'm stubborn and I continue to quest for a system that lets me try out my various weird setting ideas, as well as settings that I love but take umbrage with the rules. (In Nomine, Tribe 8, World of Darkness, Shadowrun, etc, etc, etc)
Maybe I need to read more examples.
Maybe I need to force my self to sit through the three hou- no, fuck that.
Maybe I need to just read a different goddamn game.