Monday, November 14, 2022

Coming Out of My Cave and I've Been Doing Just Fine (Sort of)

Using a Killers reference for a blog post title is certainly a new personal low. Now all I need to do is start one with that Smash Mouth song and my apotheosis will be complete. 

Yeah so in August I got up the gumption that I was finna rustle up some D&D players and play D&D at a table in my basement they way God intended*. 

It...didn't work out. We didn't even get to the table. Given my cranky-middle-ageness and general anti-social tendencies, I tried to vet the players and meet with them before giving them an invite. Some of the lowlights include: 

-Getting told that D&D is racist because black dragons are inherently evil. (So are white dragons. So are blue dragons. Also alignment is stupid. Also dragons aren't fucking real. Also if you wanted to do the D&D is Racist discussion there are so many better arguments than the colors of dragons.) 

-Getting told that D&D has become "woke garbage" because...I don't know honestly I stopped listening and just kept saying mhm and yeah over the rim of my coffee mug. I think he was mad because like, the gays or something. Weirdly enough, dude loooooooooved Dragon Age. I never finished DA1 and never got around to playing 2 or 3, but I'm pretty sure queer relationships are possible in those games. 

-Being begged to let a player play some insane custom furry race they made up, and being told that I should include mechanics for sex and romance. 

-Having someone bring a copy of Wanderhome and try to convince me that I should run that instead because dungeon crawling just isn't very interesting. Yes, I explicitly stated before the meeting I was looking for players specifically for Dungeons & Dragons. 

This is not some commentary on the state of D&D discourse. It is as if my Twitter feed somehow manifested into a series of physical bodies. 

Anyway, the good point about all this is that I'm opening up more to my college friends' continued attempts to get me to game online, because now I don't want to let tabletop gamers into my house. I'm not quite there yet, though. 

I think the last gaming book I bought was the new Robotech/Macross book from Strange Machine. I had zero illusions about ever running it, I'm just an absolute nostalgia whore. I am a recovering collector. I'm even considering a drastic reduction in my collection, but I need to find the easiest way to get rid of them for the most cash. I have precious little energy these days, and most of the methods of selling off the excess books all seem like pains in the ass. 

Anyway. Where do the gaming nerds hang out online these days? There is where I'm starting to feel my oldness creep in. I've tried Discord servers, but the signal to noise ratio on most of them is more than I can filter. MeWe...I literally just remembered that existed. I don't remember my username or login or anything besides the groups in my state being just a bunch of anti-vaxxers. The whole of Twitter is starting to look like the last twenty minutes of the End of Evangelion. There's something called Mastodon. Who names this shit? I deleted Facebook in 2009 and have no intention of going back. Dice Camp? Or is it I don't know. Can I get my Geocities page back? 

Blogger is starting to feel like MySpace circa 2011. 

Hope your games are going well, nerds. 

*Dude, I don't believe in God.